7 Tips for Those Who Find Christmas Stressful

Does Christmas stress you out? Although touted as the season of joy and peace for many of us Christmas can feel incredibly stressful. Whether it’s the shopping crowds, extra expenses, jam-packed schedules, mandatory holiday gatherings or holiday travel–Christmas can be a lot and lead us to feeling not-so-peaceful or joyful. 

I’ve rounded up seven of my favorite tips for how to decrease stress for your family Christmas and  thrive this holiday season. Instead of stressing savor the Christmas season by setting healthy boundaries and priorities for your Christmas budget, family time, gift-giving, health, and self care!

Christmas is officially coming!! Wow, can you believe it? Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and family togetherness, but it can quickly morph into a stress-filled, emotionally charged, busy, hectic, and unhappy time. But it doesn’t have to be!

After thinking about my holiday season this year I came up with some of my best tips and practices, both big and small, for surviving holiday stress so you can actually relax and enjoy this Christmas season!

This Christmas can be absolutely whatever you want it to be when you are intentional about filling it with things that bring us joy and joyful in setting up intentions that create peaceful moments rather than adding even more stress!!

7 Tips to Help You Stress Less this Christmas

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1. Make a Christmas Budget

Yes, a budget. I know…sigh…so unsexy and so un-Santa Clause, but yes, you definitely need a Christmas budget during the holiday season!

In my Vibrant Christmas planner I have a space to write out your entire Christmas budget. There’s a lot of incidentals that happen over Christmas too so it’s easy to “just get one more thing”, but you will be thankful in January that you made a plan and stuck to it!

In my Christmas budget I have categories for Christmas cards, postage, special food, presents, going out, travel expenses, fun activities, Christmas decorations, wrapping paper. For presents I have exactly how much I plan to spend on each person written down–from grandparents to teachers to siblings to each one of our kids to the dog–make a budget for each gift you are going to buy! Don’t just lump “presents” all together and expect yourself to keep track and know what to do with that vague clump. 

I generally make my Christmas budget sometime in the late summer so we can start intentionally saving for our Christmas funds. You may need a little longer or can save up what you need a little more quickly. I put our Christmas funds in a separate debit online account and we use that debit card for all of our Christmas purchases over the holiday season. That makes it easy to hold ourselves accountable for our budget without affecting our regular household budget. 

Your holiday will be SO much more relaxing if you know you aren’t going to be staring at huge credit card debt or dents in your savings in January.

For more practical tips about paying down debt and living on a budget check out Debt Free Mom! 

2. Name Your Priorities

One of the worksheets in the Vibrant Christmas Planner walks you through naming your priorities for the holiday season. Ask your family one night around the dinner table, “What do we do every Christmas that you LOVE?” 

Take note of the things that come up first and they are most excited about! It may surprise you that driving around with hot chocolate looking at Christmas lights for free is more memorable than the holiday tree festival you pay to go to! 

We have three kids so I try to make sure we have a plan to do at least ONE thing each kid mentions is their favorite. And some of those things–like Christmas Eve at Grandpa and Grandma’s–are a given! 

After the “family discussion” my husband and I normally have a “grown-up” discussion to further narrow down our priorities and talk about what WE want to do over the holidays and how we want our Christmas season to FEEL. Do we want things slow and relaxed? Upbeat and bright? Being out and about more or more time for cozy movie nights at home? 

There are no wrong answers, but this is the time to consider WHAT is causing stress in your life and eliminate or lessen it before the holiday season even begins. 

3. Schedule Your Priorities.

Once you know the priorities of your family you can take the time to make a plan that aligns with your priorities. 

 

It doesn’t have to be a minute by minute schedule, but you (and your significant other if you have one) need to sit down and talk about Christmas plans.

• When are you going to see which side of the family?
• When will you set aside time for your personal family traditions—new or old?
• When will you go shopping?
• What holiday parties, class outings, get togethers, and church services are already on the calendar
• What do you want the holidays to feel like?
• What are your “must-dos” to make Christmas memories together?

 

This is the point where you may need to inform extended family members, teachers, friends, or church of your decisions and priorities. A simple “No, we’re not going to be able to do that this year” may suffice. For other situations you may need to have longer or earlier conversations, especially with Christmas travel plans or lack thereof. 

Another great activity in the Vibrant Christmas Planner is making a holiday “bucket list” that everyone in the family contributes one must-do holiday activity! Then you can use this bucket list to guide your priorities this Christmas seasons.

Last-minute invitations and other stuff will always come up, but your bucket list can help you say no so you can say yes to the best and most important things in YOUR family!

4. Mind Your Boundaries

Christmas is a time when you may need to set some boundaries–with work, volunteer commitments, and family. Decide beforehand what your boundaries will be in stressful situations and then stick to it. 

For example.

• “If Grandma Bunny brings up politics I will excuse myself to go check on the kids.” 
• “When I’m asked to be a bell ringer I will say yes to one 2 hour volunteer time.” 
• “When I’m asked to serve at the Christmas Eve service I will say no; that’s family time.” 
• “I will buy $20 gifts for all my nieces and nephews over Thanksgiving weekend.” 
• “I will ask for help from my husband in wrapping gifts so I don’t get overwhelmed.” 
• “I will make 2 types of cookies to eat and give to friends and that is all.” 
• “I will pay for a cleaner to deep clean the house before hosting Christmas dinner.” 
• “I will only provide the Christmas main dish–and ask everyone else to bring side and desserts.” 
• Remember, your boundaries may bump up against someone else’s OR they may feel a certain way about your boundaries AND you may feel a certain way about their feelings. That’s all okay. It’s normal and part of being a grown-up. Not everyone will be 100% happy with 100% of your choices. 

Be kind and mindful while you set boundaries. Give advance notice and think ahead about how you’d like to be communicated with if the situations were reversed. Give yourself time to process how you’ll respond if someone pushes back on your established boundary and priorities. 

No is a full sentence. 🙂 

For more help in setting healthy boundaries check out Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No and Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. Both are worth reading before the holidays! 

5. Continue Healthy Habits

Yes, it’s Christmas. But Christmas is a day, not a month or two months! Keeping up your regular healthy routines of moving your body, eating mindfully, reading your Bible, journaling, and practicing self care. 

I read a brilliant email from Rachel Cosgrove, author of Female Body Breakthrough (which I totally love!) about her approach to eating healthfully during Christmastime.

Basically, she decides to continue her regular healthy habits 80% of the time. (You can pick a different percentage, of course!) Once you have your percentage, calculate the days from Thanksgiving until January 1 (in 2020 it’s 37).  Then find 20% of that number that you allow to be completely off working out and indulging in more treats. So officially it is 7.4 days.

Then go through your calendar and circle those days you want to NOT eat healthfully–like my birthday dinner, all day Christmas and Christmas Eve, New Years Dinner, my work party, Christmas cookie baking day etc. Literally circle those days on the calendar—eat what makes you happy until you’re satisfied, not stuffed– and not worry about it.

Basically you’re setting some “Not Boundaries” 

boundaries around your routines so you can stress less on those days. 

Food anxiety doesn’t help you enjoy the holidays. Move your body with exercise you enjoy. Continue taking good care of your spirit and emotional health as well. Those indulgent 20% days aren’t going to derail your overall health efforts.

RELATED: MY INSULIN RESISTANCE + WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

6. Make Time for Self Care 

Whether it’s getting up a little early to sip tea and read your Bible or doing some yoga after the kiddos are in bed or stealing into Starbucks for a peppermint mocha all on your own—take some time for yourself this season.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in creating the “perfect Christmas” for everyone else I forget to actually slow down and enjoy it myself. Purposefully create little moments each day that light you up, that bring your joy–no matter how small. This isn’t selfish, it’s essential. 

So take a breath, take a beat, take a bubble bath, and find your peace on earth. Part of this is making sure your calendar has some breathing room in it like we did in Step 3. 

RELATED: 35 Self Care Activities to Lower Your Stress

7. Remember the Reason for the Season

“There’s a reason for the season” is rather corny, but it’s true. Don’t lose sight of what Christmas is all about—God became a tiny baby, humbled Himself completely, because He wanted you.

God wanted you to know He loves you and would do anything to be with you. My family always did this through a special Advent time together before bed. We spent 5 or 10 minutes lighting candles together, reading Scripture, and singing a Christmas carol. Those simple moments are some of my most cherished Christmas memories. 

RELATED: BEST ADVENT DEVOTIONALS FOR FAMILIES

Even if you’re not religious, Christmas means SOMETHING to you. Is it Family? Togetherness? Generosity? Service? Spiritual closeness? 

Keep those values in perspective—help a family in need, cuddle your kids, drink a nice bottle of wine with a friend, and watch It’s A Wonderful Life!

You may have noticed all of these tips for dealing with holiday stress have one thing in common–planning ahead!

If you save all your shopping and baking until the week before Christmas you are going to be busy, stressed, and sweaty! If you don’t set interpersonal boundaries and priorities ahead of time you’re going to be anxious and overwhelmed. You may feel wracked with guilt for letting people down OR seething with anger for committing to things you didn’t want to do. 

Plan ahead as much as possible– where you’re going, what you’re prioritizing, when you’ll get gifts, what you’ll be getting, and what activities you’ll be doing so that you can spread the festivities out over the whole holiday season and have less stress for yourself! 

To help, use the Vibrant Christmas Planner for Christmas intention setting, prioritizing, budgeting pages, a Christmas bucket list, schedules, baking planner, gift buying help, stocking stuffers, a holiday menu plan and more–basically everything you could need to plan for a peaceful, vibrant, joyful Christmas!

GRAB YOUR FULL VIBRANT CHRISTMAS PLANNER!

Christmas can be a busy and overwhelming time of year emotionally, physically, and financially, but it absolutely doesn’t have to be!

While our American culture pushes us to MORE stress, more busy, more stuff; we can push back and embrace healthy boundaries around our time, money, emotions, and health this Christmas season!

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