Mom’s Worry: Practical Tips and Faith-Based Strategies
It’s back to school season in our home and as we launched our littles into a new school year, I felt tremendous joy for all their new learning, experiences, and friends. Honestly, there was a bit of relief there too–I love the relaxed summer mornings, but we are definitely longing for routine and outside our family stimulation at this point in the summer.
I also felt worry crowd in.
Would they be okay without me? Would they know how to operate in the cafeteria? Would they make friends? Would they be safe?
Worrying is second nature to most moms. Maybe you’ve heard someone say (or said yourself), “Mom’s worry–it’s just what we do.” But anxiety and worry don’t have to define your motherhood. Peace is possible. (**see disclaimer at bottom of post**)
I remember the night I found out I was pregnant with my firstborn–I laid in bed worrying about her. She was no bigger than a poppyseed, but my mind was already humming with scenarios. Would she have a birth defect? Would I miscarry? Would I scar her emotionally so she’d grow up to hate me?
I laid there and I knew if I was ever going to sleep the rest of my life this baby couldn’t be about me. I prayed…surrendering my poppyseed size child to God.
Asking that no matter what happened with this child, if I was a mother for just another day, a few years, or until the day I died, that this baby would bring me closer to God. Through every panic-stricken moment, I would learn to trust; through every scrape, tear, and cuddle I would better understand the depth of His love for me; through every sacrifice, I would learn selflessness.
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How to Overcome Worry as a Mom
Is it normal for mom’s to worry? Absolutely! While mom’s DO worry, that doesn’t mean anxiety has to rule our motherhood. We don’t have to constantly live in fear for our kids, overwhelmed with “what ifs” and worries. That night as I prayed through my anxieties I was practicing what Paul lays out in the book of Philippians as a way to combat worry.
Step 1: Lay it Out Before God
Do not be anxious about anything but in everything through prayer and petition let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7
This practice of letting it all out before God, of naming my worst case scenarios and asking, no–begging (like the word petition implies) God to intervene on my behalf has helped me time and time again to surrender my anxiety and control to God.
I like to take a journal and write out every little thing on my mind. Every racing thought and worst case scenario gets written down. This could be a post-it size note with just a couple things on it or a full front and back college-ruled notebook page. Journaling helps me immensely to visualize the worry monster that is running around in my head.
Then once I’ve journaled. I go back through and pray over each item on my list. I imagine laying them before Jesus. Telling and showing Him each thing I’m fearful over and putting it into His hands.
I keep going until I’ve gone through this prayer and visualization process which each thing on my list. (You can see how I used this practice again while pregnant with my third baby here.)
But there’s another piece of the puzzle too! The next verse in Philippians gives us “what next” after prayer and surrender.
Step 2. Refocus My Mind
Whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is noble, whatever is honorable, whatever is of good report, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think on these things. -Philippians 4:8
When I’m stuck whirling in a cyclone of my own anxiety the second step is to refocus my mind using the above Scripture as a template.
- I ask myself– “Is this even true?”
A lot of the torture of worry can be stopped with that simple question. Is any of this even true? Am I borrowing trouble that doesn’t exist?
- I ask “What’s pure or noble that I can think about?”
I didn’t need to read articles online about kids getting cancer or stillbirths or mom’s dying of postnatal hemorrhages. No need to feed the worry monster.
- I ask “What can I praise God for in this situation?”
Sometimes I make a literal list of all my praises and review it with myself. Or it can be as simple as naming thanksgiving as I drive to work or at the end of my day.
Remember, being a worried mom doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a very normal mom who cares an whole, whole lot about her kids.
When I’m in an anxiety-producing situation or season, I go through this process (laying it out before God and refocusing my mind) multiple times a week or day. Learning how to stop worry isn’t a one-time event, but a process of growing trust in God over a lifetime.
I know my battle with worry (especially over my kids!) isn’t a one-time fight for me–it’s a spiritual battle line I face again and again.
But Fun fact: I don’t worry anymore about miscarrying my 9 year old daughter. Thank goodness! 😆 I do worry if she will find a best friend and if the world will crush her sweet spirit. I worry about her safety at school or in the parking lot at Walmart.
So I surrender and refocus again and again. Worry is a spiritual battle I will face many times, even daily… just like loving my neighbor, choosing forgiveness, extending kindness, and being self-controlled.
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The bottom line is my kids have a faithful Heavenly Father who loves them even more than I do.
And I trust Him.
Father, Your faithful love is the foundation of my life. With it I can trust You in all things…even with my precious children. I place them in Your arms today. Protect them. Guide them. Grow them. Free me from worry and help me focus on what is true, honorable and praiseworthy today. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
My Favorite Resources for Worried Moms
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Calming Bible Verses Scripture Writing Plan
It’s Not Supposed to Be the Way by Lysa Terkeurst
No Cure For Being Human by Kate Bowler
The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect days by Kate Bowler and Jessie Ritchie
The Loudest Roar by Judy Dunagan
Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado
Disclaimer: Seeking Professional Help for Clinical Anxiety and Depression as a Christian
Right off the bat, I want you to know it is important to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling with clinical anxiety or depression. This survey may help you determine if professional intervention is needed. While faith and spirituality can provide significant comfort and support, anxiety often requires a comprehensive approach including medical and psychological intervention. Please remember:
- Medical Assistance is Normal: Getting medical help for anxiety and depression is a normal and responsible step. These conditions are treatable, and medical professionals can provide valuable guidance and treatment options.
- Consult a Mental Health Expert: Reach out to a licensed mental health professional, such as a therapist, psychiatrist, or counselor. (This is beyond the scope of pastoral counseling.) They can offer evidence-based therapies and medications tailored to your specific needs.
- No Shame in Seeking Help: There is no shame in seeking professional assistance. Just as you would seek medical help for a physical ailment, a mental ailment is a real medical condition also needing help and care. It’s crucial to prioritize your well-being for yourself AND your partner AND your kids.
- Supportive Communities: There are so many Christian communities and support groups that understand the intersection of faith and mental health. These groups can offer a safe space for sharing experiences and gaining insights.
- Balancing Faith and Treatment: It is possible to integrate your faith into your treatment journey–ask your counselor or therapist if they are willing and able to do so. In my personal experience receiving mental health counseling has deepened my relationship with Jesus.
- Family and Loved Ones: Be honest with your loved ones about needing their understanding and support. Yes, it may take time away from your kids and spouse now, but it is also crucial in you being able to continue to be there for them in the future. And yes, it may be an extra expense now, but your life (and showing up WHOLE and HEALTHY in all aspects of it) is priceless.
Your well-being is of utmost importance, sweet mama, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for anxiety and depression. Personally, I have found combining professional help with your faith can be a powerful approach to long-term healing and finding peace.
As a believer you also have the Holy Spirit partnering with you to remind you of truth and provide comfort in your life. You aren’t alone on your journey nor does having a chemical imbalance mean you are spiritually deficient or need to “try harder” to be a “good Christian”.
