God is With You–In the Sacred and the Suck

Life feels like a roller coaster right about now. There are some beautiful highs–like the return of the sandhill cranes to our fields, my kids being in activities they love, some behind the scenes writing stuff coming together, and settling into our home, church, and community in a deep way. There are lows too–hectic weeknights, exhaustion, new chemo side effects that suck the joy out of life.

Driving home the other afternoon, I looked across a lake and saw a flock of trumpeter swans elegantly circled up, making gentle ripples in the water. It felt magical. Like what is life that God made gorgeous birds just for fun?

Not five minutes later I was scrubbing sandy poop off my daughter’s butt and yelling at kids to pick up their dirty socks.

Life is sacred and sucky all at once.

watercolor image of a mountain at sunset with the text overlay reading: God is with you in the sacred and the suck

When you feel like you can’t do this

Which kind of reminds me of giving birth. It’s daunting and exhausting and you don’t know how you’ll get through it. At the same time it’s exhilarating relief and holy joy. One of those experiences where the veil between heaven and earth feels thin.

One particularly rough moment during childbirth, I was hysterically scream-sobbing to my midwife, “I can’t do this!!! I can’t!!!”. My husband’s eyes went wide as my death grip cut off circulation to his fingers.

The midwife placed her hands on my shoulders, her brown eyes held mine and she said, “But you ARE doing this, Katie. You are doing it. You can because you are. I’m with you and I won’t leave. Now just breathe.”

Those words surrounded and steadied me when I was at the end of my rope while bringing new life into the world. I’m not sure what the Lord is birthing through the pain and uncertainty of this season in our family, but the Holy Spirit has taken up the anthem of the midwife, whispering to me: “You are doing this. I’m with you and I won’t leave. Now just breathe.”

God’s Presence in the Chaos

I don’t know your life right now, friend. I hope there is more sweetness to savor than suck to endure. But I believe you may need to hear these words…

You’re getting through– day by day, hour by hour. It may not be pretty. It may be a roller coaster of big feelings and painful circumstances, but God is with you. He hasn’t lost control. He’s relentlessly good and all His promises hold true.

God is with you he hasn't lost control quote in san serif font against a background of watercolor mountains that feels a bit like a Japanese painting

You are still His beloved child, His masterpiece, put on earth for a good purpose. God knew your kids, spouse, friends, coworkers, and neighbors would need you–your exact light (no matter how dim you feel it is)–in this current moment.

The beautiful and terrible parts of life will keep coming. You’ll be gobsmacked by the sunrise over the cornfield, the scent of your baby’s hair, the Friday night lights on a small town football field.

At the same time you’ll wrestle with gigantic worldwide whys–heart aching in your chest as you read about starving children in Gaza and babies shot down in schools. And then there are the everyday gut punches: being left out (again), the test results you weren’t ready for, or the phone call that has you ugly-crying on the kitchen floor.

When we feel like we can’t do it, like all the “everything” will take us down. We hear the Spirit say,

“Breathe deep, dear daughter. I’m with you always. Come boldly to My throne of grace for whatever you need (Hebrews 4:16). You don’t have to try harder, you can try softer–relax into my love.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. -Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)